By Ubong Essien, CSP (Mister Motivator)
Very often we find ourselves doing things because others are doing them. We join the bandwagon because it seems the right thing given that the majority are in line. We do it because everyone else is doing it. So we are constantly seeking to belong. We don’t want to be left out. Many are in relationships today not because of what they want to become but because they want to belong. To belong is easy but to become is hard. All it takes to belong is to simply tag along with the bunch; to just join the group. To show up is all that’s required. Whereas it takes much more to become. To become, you must be willing to step up a notch. You must create. You must become the maker that the belonging crew will one day seek to be a part of. You must take the path of transformation and this is hard. You have to undergo a process of self enhancement. This is not for the faint of heart. It is the reason why many belong but only few become.
When you simply show up at work, to tip-toe through the day with a play-it-safe, don’t-expose-yourself attitude, you have merely chosen to belong to the herd and no more. But ask yourself; is that the essence of living? It’s certainly not. We were designed to keep on becoming until we reach our full potential.
Always ask yourself this question; did I come to this world simply to belong or was I sent here to become. That is the question we must carry with us day in day out in our various quests. When you signed up for that profession was it so that you could be counted as one of those big boys or did you see an opportunity to create something valuable?
The “belongers” long for what they can get while the “becomers” coast to what they can give. The joiners who seek to belong to a thing or fad are people who think majorly of what they can get by belonging to it. Whereas those on a becoming quest invariable transform into contributors.
Are you a wandering generality or meaningful specific? This is another way of asking; are you belonging or are you becoming?
Carve your niche – have a niche orientation or practice what I call “nichemanship”
In this life I have come to see that it is sometimes good to be left out. Because that situation of isolation, painful as it may seem, can force a man or woman to think, or perhaps rethink their lot. It can challenge them to call forth their hitherto dormant inner resources; to re-evaluate and ask questions of themselves they never thought of. Like the stranded caterpillar you are confronted by your reality of self-dissatisfaction leaving you with the only option of self-transformation. This is the becoming option. So, with nowhere else to go and no more groups to belong to, you must go into your cocoon and begin the creative journey of becoming a butterfly.
I urge you to do more of becoming than belonging. The world is looking for becomers and not belongers. I listened to Arianna Huffington of the Huffington post a few days ago when she said “America has gone from a country that makes things to a country that makes things up.” This favourite country was once a becoming nation and for over a century she became and remained the envy of the human race. Now she’s struggling to belong. Food for thought.
Yes, become a specialist even in your specialty – strive like the artist to create something exceptional. Apple is a becoming company – no sooner had they become iPad, all the rest of the companies in the world started seeking to belong through galaxy tab, touchpad, android and all the other tablets. The power of becoming enables you to lead the field. Don’t belong to a thing. Become your own thing.
When the whole world says: belong, belong, belong. Retort with become, become, become. Turn down that invitation to belong and set a date with your destiny to become what you were designed to be. Don’t belong. Become for this is the ultimate challenge.